Strange Incidents
by Sariyuki
Summary: Shounen ai. Listless, lifeless, gazing-out-of-space Hakkai creates a string of discomforts for his comrades...


Title: Strange Incidents  
Author: Sariyuki  
Date: 5 May 2004  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gensomaden Saiyuki nor Saiyuki RELOAD nor Saiyuki Gaiden nor any other Saiyuki derivative.  
Note: Written for "38 Incidents Project".  


= = = = = = = = 

An hour had passed without any sign of refreshment... 

"Man, I'm hungry!" 

"Me too," admitted Gojyo. "What the hell is Hakkai doing?" 

"I don't know!" wailed Goku. "What's taking him so long?" 

"Don't look at me, I don't know," said Sanzo, picking up another piece of newspaper. 

Goku stomped the floor. 

"I'm going to check up on him! I can't wait any longer! I'd die!" 

Gojyo shrugged as the boy stormed off the common room that they're using for having meal to the kitchen where their green-eyed comrade was presumed to be. Hakkai had said earlier that he'd prepare a quick breakfast for all of them before going onto the journey. 

Since Goku was gone, Gojyo was left alone with the monk. He sighed. He had never be able to have a decent conversation with the monk, he didn't quite know why. Maybe it's just one of those things, thought Gojyo amusedly. It's one of those hate-hate relationships. 

But there was something that he needed to discuss with the monk, something that had been worrying him lately. 

"Sanzo," Gojyo began. "Did you notice that Hakkai's a bit out of it lately?" 

Sanzo looked up from the paper he was reading, "What do you mean?" 

"Well," Gojyo mused for a second before continuing. "He didn't seem to focus, if you know what I mean." 

"Hm." 

"Remember that time when we got lost for three hours trying to find a town?" added the red-haired man. "And after that we've still got to find a lodging and it took us another two hours because he read the map wrong!" 

"We were lost for five bloody hours!" concluded Gojyo empathically. 

Sanzo put down his reading glasses on the table. He cast his mind back to recent incidents. Now that Gojyo had mentioned it, he did feel something not quite right with Hakkai lately. When he asked the green-eyed man's opinion about something, the man didn't respond as he'd usually done. Sanzo had put it down as tiredness at that time. 

If he really thought about it, Hakkai had been a bit quiet too lately. Sanzo frowned. 

"You're right," conceded the monk. "Do you know why?" 

Gojyo shook his head. "I thought you might know why." 

"Why should I?" asked Sanzo in defiance. 

"Well, it's only natural, isn't it?" replied Gojyo. "You guys are roommates. Don't you do girls' talk, I mean, guys' talk or something?" 

"Don't talk rubbish," scowled the monk. 

"So you don't know," mused the red-haired man. 

"No." 

At that moment, Hakkai appeared in the doorway, taking a tray of food with both his hands, followed closely by the excited Goku. 

"Sorry to keep you all waiting," Hakkai smiled, while putting the tray on the table. 

"Yay! Food!" 

Gojyo cast a sideway glance at the green-eyed youkai. Somehow he felt that the smile was even less convincing than usual. 

"Er," Hakkai began nervously. "The food is kind of burnt. I'm sorry I was...um, being careless, so to speak. But it's not that bad, really." 

"Oh," Goku eyed the food closely. "Looks okay to me." 

Sanzo exchanged a quick glance with Gojyo across the table. Burnt food? Hakkai had never burnt any food that he cooked before. The man was practically a master chef. How could he burn his cooking now? 

"Everything remotely resembling food looks okay to you," said Gojyo. 

"What do you mean by that?" retorted Goku. 

The monk watched the bickering without passion and saved the fan for later. He wanted to see Hakkai's reaction. The green-eyed youkai usually would put a stop to these two with a smile and some soothing words when both Gojyo and Goku had gone too far. Sanzo waited. It didn't seem to happen though. 

Hakkai looked up to find Sanzo's staring intently at him. He gave the monk a half-hearted smile and turned to gaze out of the window. He didn't even seem to notice the loud commotion around him and the meal on his plate left untouched. 

What the hell? thought Sanzo. Why is he acting so strange? 

A vein on the monk's forehead was threatening to pop out when the bickering hadn't died down after ten minutes. 

"Shut up or die!!" 

= = = = = = = = 

A few days later, Sanzo still thought that Hakkai still hadn't improved. He frowned in irritation. Could he just hope that it would be just a passing phase, whatever phase that'd be? He sighed. No. There had to be something. 

The monk was deep in thought, puffing cigarette smokes in the quiet room. He recalled a number of strange incidents involving the green-eyed youkai that happened in the last few days. Hadn't he noticed the strained smile, the listless laughter and the empty gaze that Hakkai seemed to entertain way too much lately? He's trying to act normally, thought Sanzo warily. But something is clearly bothering him. 

To Sanzo's surprise, he'd like to know what had been bothering Hakkai. The monk had never been one to want to know anyone's business and always expected that of everyone else. But he couldn't contain his curiosity about what had been ailing the green-eyed youkai, despite his best effort. It seemed incredulous that something could have such an effect on the usually calm, cool-headed man. 

"Damn!" 

The cigarrete he was holding had reached the end of its short life and the cinder touched Sanzo's fingers before the monk dropped the butt on the floor and stomped on it. 

He looked at the clock on the wall of the room he rented tonight. He was sharing with Hakkai again because there weren't enough available rooms. The arrangement suited him perfectly. There was no way he could share a room with the other two. He'd kill himself before too long if that ever happened. Or most probably he'd kill them. 

Sanzo glared at the clock as if daring it to defy him. It showed half hour past midnight. And still no sign of Hakkai returning to the room from wherever he was now. 

Damn you, Hakkai, cursed Sanzo silently. 

The monk exited the room. He wouldn't be able to get any sleep anyway so he'd better look for the source of his discomfort and try fixing two problems at once. 

Fortunately for the monk, the search was short-lived as the green-eyed youkai was seen just outside the inn. Sanzo spotted the back of Hakkai's head from the window on the common room's wall. He opened the entrance door and briskly went towards the sitting figure who looked up at the sound of his approaching steps. 

"Sanzo?" he said. "Can't you sleep?" 

The monk grunted an affirmative as he settled himself on the long bench next to Hakkai and took out his cigarette pack. He had a feeling this was going to be a long night. He lighted one stick. 

The night sky was given inspection by both men, sitting silently side by side. It was actually a very inspiring sight as the waxing moon shone brightly, illuminating nearby stars and the slowly drifting clouds. Still both men were quiet. 

Hakkai turned his gaze away from the far horizon and glanced at his companion. A thought crossed his already crowded mind, was Sanzo worried about him? He smiled ruefully. Of course, he had been worrying everyone, hadn't he? But he couldn't help it as he felt out of place lately, like a ship without anchor, like a bird who had lost its nest. He thought he had everything figured out but before long he knew he was wrong. 

Sanzo broke the silence at last, "Won't you tell me what's going on?" 

Hakkai smiled at the question, "You won't take no for an answer, am I right?" 

"Damn right." 

Hakkai sighed. 

"If you have a problem, you'd better deal with it," the monk continued in an irritated tone. "You've been driving everybody mad, don't you know that?" 

"I'm sorry," replied the green-eyed youkai. "I guess I am being very selfish." 

"You guessed right," said the monk severely but he couldn't help it, he had lost his peace of mind when the youkai started acting weird. It was like having a personal rain cloud above his head. Hakkai's smile was contagious, but so was his brooding. 

"Well I suppose I'd better tell you." 

"Right," said Sanzo, eyeing the youkai closely. 

"I don't know really when it started bothering me," Hakkai said, gazing up at the sky. "I tried to ignore it but it won't go away and now I don't know how to deal with it." 

Sanzo waited for more explanation. 

"Everyday, I always think about if only I could just forget about it," a frown was apparent on Hakkai's face. "And the thought of it consumes me literally. I wish I could just forget about it." 

"You're a monk, Sanzo," the green-eyed youkai continued. "You know a lot of things. You're wiser than most men." 

Sanzo didn't know where this conversation was going but he was troubled. Hakkai seemed to be lost in his own world of musing, agonizing on some problems that were yet known to him. But then the pair of green eyes met his scrutiny gaze. They were strangely bright and palpably sad. 

"So tell me," asked Hakkai. "Even though I'm a man, why am I in love with you?" 

Sanzo's eyes went wide. He stopped in mid-smoke and let go of the cigarette. He hadn't expected this, had he? Their gaze locked in a shocked silence. But the pair of green eyes looked away as their owner looked up at the night sky again. He could hear Hakkai's long sigh before the green-eyed youkai stood up and started to walk away. 

"It's very late now," Hakkai muttered. "I'd better get some rest before the journey." 

Sanzo opened his mouth to call out but he couldn't find his voice. He sat still for the longest time in his life. Even long after Hakkai was gone inside, he was still speechless, his personal space and time had halted at the words that his brain was trying to digest furiously. He had never expected that. He never knew that Hakkai had liked him that way, let alone fallen in love with him. Loved him. 

Hakkai loved him. 

Thoughts like icebergs moved slowly in Sanzo's mind. Slowly, uncertainly, and unexpected. But icebergs, when they hit the shore, they would change everything else on it, they would destroy, break and reshape things that they touched. And they created other things too. 

Comprehension settled on the monk's eyes at last, sending him alien feelings and confusion. How could he deal with it? How would he deal with it? 

Hakkai loved him. 

Apprehension came to his mind. Why hadn't he been disgusted or scared? He was merely shocked to find out the reason of Hakkai's strange behaviour and that the reason was him. Him. He couldn't get over it. 

Hakkai loved him. 

It could bring complications. Yes. It would bring confusion and distraction. But it could also open a brand new door, an endless list of possibilities. He just realised his heart had been beating like mad. 

And then he recalled the sad expression on Hakkai's delicate features and how those orbs of green shone reflecting the moonlight of the night when he asked him that question. Beautiful, told Sanzo's mind. Maddeningly beautiful. 

"Even though I'm a man," Hakkai had said, with barely concealed sorrow. 

"There's nothing wrong with-," Sanzo began and realised there's no one there to listen to him. 

"Damn," he muttered in disgust of himself. Wasn't he slow? 

He stood up abruptly and strode towards the inn's door. Right, he decided. He would give that silly green-eyed youkai a punch in the face for making him act like an idiot. And for not telling him sooner. And for making everyone wary of his strange behaviour. 

And he would give him a stern lecture or two. 

And probably a kiss or two. 

And maybe- 

Sanzo let a suspiciously delightful smirk entertain his face for a while. 

Yes, after all, the possibility was endless. 

= = = End = = = 


End file.
